Why I became a Professional Declutterer and Organiser

As much as it may surprise you, I am not a naturally tidy person. My house is not a showhome at all times and probably never will be. I have, however, developed habits and taught myself and my family to have a place for everything, which makes tidying up and finding things a much less stressful experience than it once used to be!

The back story

When I was still happily dressing up and playing with lego, my Mum stayed at home looking after my younger brothers and me, and I never remember our house being particularly untidy. I presume Mum was the housework fairy and kept on top of it all whilst I was at school or in bed (much like I used to do with my daughter). When I was 10 or so, my Mum took a huge leap and went back to university to train to become a pharmacist whilst my dad was still working full time and was away for weekends with the Territorial Army. We were very lucky and had help - a wonderful nanny whilst my littlest brother was still small, and then a less wonderful German au pair, who both helped with some of the housework, but I don't think I ever 'learnt' how to BE tidy during this time as it wasn't something I really saw happen or at least took notice of.  

Once my mum had completed her degree and started to work full time, we were all a little older, so we no longer had help in the home. We could walk ourselves to school or be dropped off at breakfast clubs, and I was old enough to fend for myself for the most part. This was when I remember Mum panicking when we had guests coming to visit, and the whole family would be forced into 'Declutter and Clean Mode' 24 hours before the grandparents arrived. Just what a grumpy teenager wanted to do with her weekends! Because of this, I think I developed a proper loathing for these tasks - it was always an overwhelming job that took up a whole day, when I'd much rather be seeing my friends or listening to Backstreet Boys or the Spice Girls in my bedroom.

*this is just a stock image, not our house.

The Great Fire of Warwick

Fast forward quite a few years, only a couple of months after I'd moved in with my fiance, and my parent's house burnt down. It was arson, and he - a 15-year-old who lived locally but had no connection with any of us - broke into the house, barely stole anything, did a number 2 in the toilet and then left piles of laundry around the house and lit each one as he was leaving the house. Having only properly moved out a couple of months before, l still had belongings in the house and had left all my childhood toys and memories in the loft 'for safe keeping'. Sadly, very little was salvageable. It took over a year to rebuild their house and left us all a little scarred, luckily not physically as no one was in the house at the time, but mentally - definitely.  You would think that this huge event would teach me to be tidy and not leave clutter and laundry lying around. Maybe not...

Breaking up is hard to do

Roll on a few years more and I was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression after my daughter's birth. My husband worked long shifts, and whilst I was on maternity leave, I was struggling to cope with a newborn, a dog and running a house on my own. Clutter and mess built up in our flat as I was sleep-deprived and lacking in motivation, which affected my mental health and my husband's. Not only did the clutter build because we were tired, but the overwhelm had taken hold, and we had no idea where to start.  We regularly argued about it, but neither one of us had the capacity to deal with it. Even when we tried, because of the state of my mental health at the time, the clutter always came back. I also didn't like anyone visiting because of the mess, so the flat became a very unhappy place.

In 2013 I decided to leave my husband. It hadn't been a happy relationship for a long time, but it had taken a lot of time to accept it before saying 'I'm done' and deciding to move on. But, as a single mum working full time as a Project Manager in the civil service, my home was always the last thing to get a look in. After a long day at work, always being the last mum to pick up at nursery, then feeding my daughter and getting her to bed, I’d much rather watch TV until gone midnight than do housework. My budget couldn't stretch to any outside help, and when my daughter went to her dad's for the weekend, I would try and spend as much time out of the house as possible so I didn't have to look at the mess.

A happy picture of me and my daughter in London in 2018

I saw the light...and all the dust on it too!

After a few lucky breaks (or maybe the Law of Attraction at work) in 2018, I finally left my toxic civil service job, gave up dating awful men from awful dating apps and finally decided to get a handle on my own mental clutter. 

I took a year off dating, got some counselling, and started to work with a Personal Trainer, so I felt physically healthy too. Over time these changes helped me get a handle on my external clutter and my internal stuff. Taking the time to really think about how my daughter and I used our house and whether that was the best way. I asked myself why I kept hold of things that either made me sad or frustrated and investigated why clutter kept creeping back into certain spots. 

Answering these questions allowed me to change my mindset and create new habits. Even just making sure I put my keys in the same spot every time I came through the door saved 15 mins of stress and stopped us from being late for school in the mornings! Slowly but surely, my life was becoming easier. Day to day routines stuck, and when clutter started to build up again, I'd nip it in the bud before it got overwhelming. I'd take time to find the best storage for my home, rather than buy everything in one big Ikea shopping trip and hoping it would work. I also minimalised my belongings - not to minimalist standard, I still like 'stuff' don't get me wrong - but to a point that my house, wardrobe, shed, spare bedroom weren't all bursting at the seams.

Mental health and clutter go hand in hand.

The only reason I could let go of the clutter around my home once and for all was because I had worked on my mental health, but it definitely now works the other way around too. Having a clutter-free home makes a huge difference to my mental health. I know that I am a much nicer person to be around when I am in a tidy, organised space. I can be truly present with the people I love because I am not worrying about the clutter and I haven't always got a long ‘to do’ list in my head. My tolerance level for clutter is also so much lower now, so it niggles at me much earlier than it would have 5 years ago. I also know how nice my house can look when clutter-free so keeping it that way is so much easier!

Is it a real job?

After being made redundant in November 2019 from my marketing job, I knew this would be my best chance to finally be brave and make the leap into working for myself. I had moral support from friends, family and a new boyfriend (who I ironically met through one of those awful dating apps). I just wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do! I knew I loved helping people and was pretty good at it, I knew I loved a project and problem solving and I knew I was passionate about helping women get rid of some of the overwhelm that is so prevalent in all our lives right now. So I wrote down all the things I was good at and all the things I liked doing and Decluttering and Organising just kept shouting at me. It ticked all my boxes! Working with people - check! Helping people's mental health - check! Not stuck at a desk 24/7 - check! The list went on. Was it a real job that people paid for? I wasn't sure, but after a bit of market research, test runs with friends who needed this type of help, it turned out it was...and I was going to be a Professional Declutterer and Organiser, and it was going to be called Room to Breathe!

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