How can I declutter my sentimental items?

One of the most frequent questions I get asked is 'How do I deal with my sentimental items?'. Sometimes they mean their grandma's precious jewellery, other times they mean a spoon that they used to use when having hot chocolate with their dad. It could also be baby's first babygro or your mother's last Christmas card she sent you. Sometimes it can also mean every birthday and Christmas card you've ever been sent! 

Wanting to hold onto items that mean a lot to us is very normal. Holding on to everything and anything that sparks a memory of some sort however means you may be heading for hoarding territory.

Sadly our houses do not afford us enough space to keep all our long-lost memories and sometimes holding on to these items actually doesn't serve us well. If the item makes you sad or angry why on earth would you want it in your home?

Deciding what should stay and what should go is a tricky business but letting go of clutter and making space for those extra special memories that are worth keeping will give you and your home a new lease of life.

My first suggestion for getting rid of sentimental items is don't start with this category! You need to be in the right mindset to be able to make these decisions and starting off with easier categories will stand you in good stead for this. Start with clothes, or books, or kitchen utensils and as you uncover that spoon that makes you well up or that book that you read in Year 4 that you loved put it to one side so it's ready when you are.

Once you have tackled other parts of your house your brain will be in the right zone. You'll start to understand just how cathartic decluttering your home is and hopefully, you will start to feel a weight being lifted from your shoulders. You will notice the space in your home and in your mind and hopefully others will be noticing it too.  This is the time to be brave, dig in and get on with sorting through your sentimental stuff.

What is stopping me from getting rid of this item? 

When decluttering sentimental items asking yourself 'What is stopping me from getting rid of this item?' is a good place to start.  Keeping memories is a vital part of remembering different stages of our life and the people in them, but memories do not have to be objects. Using photos or collages or even just the memories we have in our brain could be enough without needing to keep the item. Ways of remembering that moment or person could be:

• Photos - another place we stash our memories is in our photos and they are much smaller than pieces of furniture or a quilt.   Do you have a photo of you playing cards around the table with your family or sitting on your grandad's lap on the chair, or wrapped in the quilt with your gran? Not only will a picture preserve this memory in a smaller space, it usually contains the person you actually want to remember. A gorgeous frame or photo album can display this memory perfectly.

• Cutting up birthday cards from your special person and creating a collage, preserving their handwriting and their sentiments. Pinterest has some great ideas but i particularly love this hexagonal piece of art using old cards.

• Keeping a small piece of curtain material from your grandma's house will have just as many memories attached as the full thickly lined drapes and can either be framed and displayed or added to a memory box for safekeeping. 

If the reason for you not wanting to get rid of the item is because it was a gift from someone close then ask yourself if the item is actually sentimental at all! Do you like it? Do you use it? Is it your taste? Gifts are very personal and unfortunately often despite it coming from your parents or best friend - it's not actually something you like or need. Don't feel bad about donating this item at all. The gift is in the giving and receiving and once that's done it's up to you what you do with it. If they ask after the gift (which honestly they rarely do) say thank you for the gift again and move the conversation along. Gifts are rarely sentimental but we hold on to them because of a feeling of guilt. As Elsa said in Frozen - Let It Go. Unused or wanted gifts do not serve your ambition to live in a less cluttered, more calm home.

Memory boxes

Memory boxes are something I suggest to all of my clients...and all their families! Memories are very personal and some sentimental items may mean absolutely nothing to one person in the home, but everything to another. Rather than fighting over whether this item gets to take up space on a shelf or a wall, it can have its own special home in that person's memory box. A place where they can visit as often as they want and enjoy that memory without judgement from anyone else. This can also work brilliantly for children so they feel like they have some autonomy on what they get to keep and what they decide to give away.

Another great thing about memory boxes is that they have a finite amount of space. Yes, you can buy big or small ones but you can only put so much in there before it loses its purpose as it's too heavy to lift or you can't find anything in there. This is a great way of really only keeping the items which truly mean something to you. If you are an incredibly sentimental person and have the space you could have a memory box of your own and then one for your memories of each of your children or memory boxes for different stages of your life but be truthful to yourself and ask whether you need all these or whether it is just going to be an easy way out of making those tricky decisions. 

Memory boxes don't have to cost a lot. You could start with a shoe box or gift box you already have to collect your items together whilst going through the decluttering process and then assess what size box you need at the end. TK Maxx has some lovely chests, and larger gift-type boxes you could use or Ikea have sturdy, cardboard boxes with a range of sizes available. If you wanted something extra special you could also look at wooden boxes with hand-carved names on them. I found some lovely ones on Etsy.

Another consideration of the size and shape memory box you end up with is the space in which it will reside for the majority of the time. I recommend finding a spot you can get to relatively easily but isn't taking up space that day-to-day items will need. Under your bed, on top of your wardrobe, on the top shelf of your linen cupboard. Loft space if it is easily accessible and damp-free. Remember, this box will have your most precious memories in so wrap terms carefully and keep them in a damp-free, safe space at all times. Having all these items in one place also makes it quite easy to rescue if you ever should need to. 

If you really struggle with getting rid of your sentimental items then there may be some deeper-rooted issues that a therapist could help you with. A traumatic or unexpected loss or a childhood where you didn't have many items of your own can really make letting go of things difficult and getting help for the emotional side of this will, in turn, help you with the physical issue of keeping everything that contains a memory. 

If you have already sought emotional help or just need a gentle nudge from a person who is slightly removed from the situation then please drop me a line. I can definitely help ask more questions and offer other options of how you can declutter your sentimental items.

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